


if you hate me that much.

by clowncorz



Category: Barry (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Lowercase, Smut, i don't like writing x readers with proper capitalization, or maybe not, sad sex, somebody is gonna die!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 18:48:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20935010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clowncorz/pseuds/clowncorz
Summary: barry was ordered to kill the reader after she caught him on the job, but he instead starts to fall in love with her. if his mission isn't carried out soon, fuches will get someone else to do it. barry can't have that.





	if you hate me that much.

your head rests on barry's chest. the two of you have been together for a year now, and you're certain that you love him. he plays with your hair while you tell him about a movie you saw with your friends the other day. he sounds interested, but you know he probably isn't. 

"wait, so, he died?" he asks, referring to the main character in the film. well, he is interested, then. you giggle in response, "yes." you want to stay like this forever, you would if you could. you're the only person besides hank or fuches that knows his secret, so it was possible that you could be together forever. but there's something about the way his heart starts racing when he picks up his phone that makes you unsure about forever. you don't bother looking up as he types a response. then puts his phone back on the night stand.

you instantly regret asking, but you ask anyway. "who was that?"

"oh... just fuches." 

you wince, shutting her eyes slowly. you remember barry trying to kill you the first time you met, then the next few times after that. when he stopped trying, thats when you fell in love. he told you he's tried to kill you because fuches told him to. probably because you caught him trying to kill your neighbor. you assumed he just went against fuches wishes, and began dating you. but then you realize, it's probably just a ploy. to get you closer to him, to make you vulnerable. vulnerable enough to take you out right then and there. any moment it can happen, and you know he doesn't really love you. he does, but you don't realize it now.

he taps the top of your head with his fingertip, you roll over on your stomach and slide your body like a worm until you're sitting up, making him smile brightly. you can't help but smile back. curse him... his stupid smile, it's all fake, you think. he puckers his lips, non-verbally asking for a kiss. you wish you didn't want to. you lean in and plant your lips on his, it's soft, gentle. you love how he kisses you... it's like he's always known how you like to be treated, most of the time with care and kindness, but aggressively and rough when it counts. this time is different, though. he kisses you like it's the last time he'll ever be able to. his kiss is filled with desire with a hint of regret. not the kind of regret that one feels when they've made a bad decision, no, the kind of regret that one feels when they're about to make a bad decision.

he doesn't want to let you go. he can't. he pulls you onto his lap, your legs on either side of his. you caress his face and stare down into his eyes. you kiss his forehead, then his nose, his chin, and his lips. he smiles sweetly. you hate yourself for loving him so much. he is truly the only person you've ever loved this much. it hurts you to know that he hates you. 

his hands softly rub your thighs, you lean down to kiss him again, this time it's hungry, full of lust. he squeezes your thighs and you bite his bottom lip lightly. you pull away and take off your shirt, he does the same. his phone vibrates, he picks it up and tosses it to the other side of the room. he presses his lips to your neck softly while undoing your bra, you feel chills down your spine when he starts nibbling on that spot below your jaw. he ends up leaving marks down to your breasts. his lips graze over your nipple and you let out a soft whine. you grip his hear lightly and pull his head back, leaning down and kissing him desperately. 

he ends up pinning you down, hovering over you. he asks you if you want him. you reply, "no... i need you." 

his fingers tangle in your hair as he enters you. your cheeks flushing, you turn your head away. he starts off slow, wanting you to let him know how you want it. you don't let him know, because you think it's perfect. you let out a moan as his left hand leaves your wrist, traveling down your body and feeling you. you gasp when he hits that spot, as he always does. he stays there for a moment, because you grab his arm, keeping his hand at your center and making him stay where he is. you breathe heavily, still not looking at him. you let go of him and put your arm back over your head, he pins both of them down with his right hand. 

"look at me," he breathes, going a bit harder. your eyes flutter shut as you let yourself feel him, ignoring anything that will happen in the near future. and you know it'll happen. he moves his left hand up, grabbing your face and turning you to look him in the eyes. you feel tears in your eyes, he leans down to kiss you. you shut your eyes as he continues, feeling the pressure build up inside you. a tear slips out from the corner of your eye, he buries his face in the crook of your neck. his hand goes back down, you're suddenly overcome with lust, he lets your hands go because he likes when you leave scratches on his back when you cum. you dig your nails into his back, crying out his name. he's right behind you, he moans as he attaches his lips to yours. he pulls out soon after and leaves kisses all over your body. 

it's the morning. he thinks you're asleep. you prepare for the inevitable. at a young age you were told not to be afraid of death, no matter how it happens. but you were going to make barry regret his decision, no matter how much it hurt him. he deserves the hurt. you love him, you do, but he ruined you. before him you were strong, nothing scared you, nothing broke down your emotional barrier. but now, you lay with his arm around your bare waist, and the barriers had been shot down, and you fear that he doesn't love you the way you love him.

his arm leaves your body, you hear the gun click, you aren't afraid. you try not to cry, but you fail. he still thinks you're asleep. but now he doesn't anymore, because you tell him what you must: "if you hate me that much..."

**Author's Note:**

> I DONT WRITE SMUT SO TELL ME IF THIS IS BAD IDK IDK IDK


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